Casts and Crutches
by Elphaba-Rose
Summary: Two of our turtles get into a little arguement, which has unsurprising results....Experiment with style, feedback much appreciated! Thanks!


A.N: So here I am, sat in front of my computer at 8.47am with a pain in my left ankle and bored outta my wits already. Yes, you got it folks, Katana-Babe has fractured her ankle, which means no school for a while, no friends and no drama, but it also means more fan fiction lol. Or at least I hope so. I won't bore you with how I did it, I'll just say 'twas extremely funny, until it started hurting that is. A really funny idea popped into my head about the Shredder and girls the other day, influenced by Monny and our rps of course, but I'll get to write that fic later. I'm more in the mood to write this one hehe. The idea may seem familiar to some of you, I mentioned it in 'Meet The Family', my Donny-centric, but never thought about writing it until now. I'm also writing this a little differently to how I normally write; call it an experiment if you will, I'm just seeing if it's effective. If not, I'll rewrite it. So anywayz, hope you enjoy this little one shot and please review, I know it'll cheer me up the moment I see them in my inbox. And don't worry; I've almost finished writing the next chapter for Somebody Out There. But whatever, have fun.

Disclaimer: Nopies, I do not own TMNT, just a number of figures, posters, pencil case, a Leo plushie (Ah I love that thing), the first movie on DVD, a bedcover and a couple of drawings and paintings of mine. No rights to the TV shows or comics or whatever whatsoever, and I don't think I ever will. Sniff

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Casts and Crutches

"That is so NOT funny Raph, give it back!"

"No way shell-for-brains! This is payback!"

"Payback? Payback for what, precisely?"

"Payback for being Splinter Junior!"

"What? How can that qualify as something I need to be paid back for? And I am not!"

"Yer what?"

"How can being like Master Splinter qualify as deserving revenge?"

"You're really starting to sound like Donny now ya know,"

"At least it means I can understand him!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What do you think it means?"

"That you're saying I'm dumb!"

"You're putting words into my mouth Raphael,"

"I am not! You said I couldn't understand Donny,"

"I did not, I merely said I can understand him,"

"Meaning I can't, so you're calling me stupid! Just shut the shell up Splinter-kiss-ass!"

"Shut yourself up Raph and give me my book back!"

"No, I told ya, ya ain't getting it back!"

"You immature little boy!"

"Proud of it compared to you, a wannabe with no life!"

"Idiot!"

"Moron!"

"Loser!"

"Imbecile!"

"Freak!"

"Freak! Why I oughta…that does it Leo, I am so gonna go ninja on your ass!"

"Try it, hothead!"

"Hey Donny, what's Leo and Raph arguein' about now?"

"Raph stole Leo's book,"

"You mean the one he's almost finished?"

"Yup,"

"The one he spent loadsa money on?"

"Yup,"

"The one he's waited two months for?"

"Yup,"

"The one where he said if we even try to touch it or take it when he's still reading it, he'd take a blunt katana and turn us into a mutant lollipop?"

"For God's sake Mikey, yes!"

"Raph's toast,"

"Well done toast,"

"With butter?"

"With strawberry jam more like,"

"Oh good, you making me some too?"

"What?"

"You just said you're making toast with strawberry jam! I want some!"

"No Mikey, I was using the jam as a metaphor,"

"What's a metaphor? Can you eat it?"

"You're really hungry, aren't you?"

"Yup,"

"Then why don't you make the toast yourself?"

"I broke the toaster,"

"You broke the toaster?"

"Uh, yup!"

"How exactly?"

"I stuck a knife in it,"

"For God's sake Mikey, why?"

"I wanted to see if my toast was done,"

"But it pops up when it's done,"

"Not since I broke the popper-upper,"

"You broke the popper-upper?"

"Yup,"

"How, exactly, did you break the popper-upper?"

"I wanted to see if it would pop up something other than toast,"

"Like…?"

"Raph's sais,"

"You put Raph's sais in the toaster!"

"Yeah and they got stuck, so I had to snap the popper-upper to get them out,"

"I'm not bloody surprised they got stuck! You stun me sometimes Michelangelo!"

"I know, isn't it cool?"

"No,"

"You gonna make my toast now?"

"Why don't you do the toast on the grill? I'm busy right now,"

"With what?"

"With…repairing my shell cell,"

"Liar!"

"What? I am not!"

"Yes you are, you just want me outta here so you can phone Monny!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do – ah shut up Mikey,"

"So when we gonna meet her? You bringing her here tonight? Well are ya? Are ya, are ya, are ya?"

"No,"

"Aaawww why not?"

"'Cause you'll scare her,"

"I will not! I'll only play a couple of small, harmless pranks,"

"That will most likely maim her for most of her life,"

"Donatello, you surprise me!"

"The feeling is mutual, I assure you,"

"I will not maim Monica!"

"You're just jealous I can get a girlfriend,"

"I can too you know!"

"Then how come you haven't got one?"

"Uuuhhh…"

"Precisely. Go do your toast on the grill Mike,"

"But I broke the oven…"

"Michelangelo…!"

"MeEp!"

"Yes you better run!"

"I didn't mean to Donny I swear!"

"I don't care Mikey you're just a maladroit, puerile ignoramus!"

"Say whaaat?"

"You're a clumsy, stupid fool!"

"Hey!"

"Hey, does somebody hear footsteps?"

"Master Splinter, uh hi!"

"My sons, what is going on here?"

"Raph stole my book!"

"Leo's being an idiot!"

"Mikey broke the toaster _and _the oven!"

"Donny's gone murderous!"

"I'm not surprised with a brother like you!"

"Leave him alone Raph,"

"Shurrup Leo unless you wanna make dinner tonight with a kaput oven, oh wait, I forgot, you can't even make cereal without setting the kitchen afire!"

"I can too!"

"Can not!"

"My sons!"

"Sorry Master Splinter,"

"Donatello, please go and repair the broken appliances if you will, accidents happen, then clean your room,"

"Yes Sensei,"

"Michelangelo, you shall take the trash out everyday this week for inserting your brother's sais into the toaster. Nothing but bread goes in there. Go to your room and clean it up,"

"Yes Sensei,"

"Raphael, give Leonardo his book back. You shall come with me to meditate and reflect upon your actions before tidying out your room. Raphael! Do not pull that face! I know you are less at ease with this aspect of your training, but you must learn to be fully balanced,"

"Yes Sensei,"

"And Leonardo, you shall do the dishes for three nights and clean your room, for argueing with your brother instead of calmly taking control of the situation,"

"Yes Sensei,"

"Now go all of you. Raphael, come with me,"

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"Haha, having fun with those dishes Leo?"

"Shut up Raph, at least I'm fully balanced,"

"Will you guys shut up? I'm trying to concentrate,"

"What's up Don? You sore 'cause you can't be with Monny tonight?"

"Raph, you are seriously being caustic now,"

"I'm what?"

"Annoying me,"

"Geez Don, why didn't you just say that?"

"Don can say what he likes, leave him alone Raph,"

"Is that another one of your jibes at me being dumb Leo?"

"Don't be stupid Raph, I never said that in the first place,"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did – do you know what your problem is Raphael?"

"No, what?"

"You've got your head too far up into your own ass and you think everyone's out to get you!"

"Shut up Leo!"

"No! I'm tired of you getting on to me, thinking I have the easy life! Well F.Y.I Raphael, I don't! You wouldn't last a minute in my bandana!"

"I would too! I'd last far longer than you ever could!"

"Don't flatter yourself,"

"Raph, don't!"

"Shut it Don!"

"Raph if you so much as think as tackling me I swear to Daimyo I'll-"

"You'll what? Tell Splinter on me?"

"I'll fight back with every smidgeon of strength I possess!"

"I'd like to see you try, goody-two-shoes!"

"Raph! Leo!"

"Whoa! Like, what's goin' on here bros?"

"Get outta the way Mike!"

"Raph, don't! There's a broken tile there!"

"Aaarrgghh!"

"LEO!"

"Great goin' Raph!"

"Leo, don't you dare!"

"Leo!"

"Aaarrgghh!"

"RAPH!"

"For the love of cheese!"

"Shut up Mike and get outta my way!"

"Raph! Your wrist, it looks all…bent…tee hee,"

"Mike as soon as I'm done with Leo I'm so gonna pound your ass!"

"With a broken wrist? Sit you arse down Raphael!"

"Uh, Donny, a little help? I can't exactly move my ankle here,"

"Mike get the fuck off me!"

"No 'cause you're just gonna go and leg Leo up again,"

"And who can blame me? Everyone wants to 'cause he's just a pompous-assed jerk!"

"What is it with you and asses? Tee hee,"

"'Cause he's got one for a face!"

"Wow, good one Leo!"

"Why I oughta-!"

"Mikey shut up! You're only making things worse!"

"I am not! I am the ultimate master in peace-making thank you very much!"

"Mikey for the second time, GET OFF ME SO I CAN PUMMEL A CERTAIN BLUE BANDANNAED USELESS MORON INTO OBLIVION!"

"Let him go, Mike, I wanna see him try!"

"Don't be a dumbass Leo, you can't stand on your own!"

"Can too! Ouch!"

"Told you so,"

"Shut up Donny, you're not helping,"

"Donny what exactly have they done?"

"Isn't it obvious Mike?"

"Uh, no,"

"Leo's broken his ankle and Raph's broke him wrist,"

"Which is worst?"

"They're both as bad as each other,"

"Ignoramus!"

"That's Donny's word, idiot!"

"Moron!"

"Loser!"

"Imbecile!"

"Freak!"

"LEO I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"

"BRING IT ON!"

"Leo! Raph!"

"My sons!"

"Uh oh,"

"What is going on here? Don't tell me you are all argueing yet again? Great Daimyo! My sons, what is wrong with your limbs?"

"Raph broke Leo's ankle and Leo broke Raph's wrist,"

"How?"

"They were argueing again and Raph kicked Leo at the back of his leg so he fell and tripped on that broken tile and snapped his ankle. Then Leo decided to push Raph even though Leo was on the floor then Raph tripped on the broken tile too and fell on his wrist, which broke that too,"

"We'll have to get that tile fixed dude! I don't fancy a broken wrist or a broken ankle, it looks painful!"

"Leonardo, Raphael, I demand you stop this meaningless bickering, right now! Donatello, take Raphael to your laboratory, you and I shall help him whilst Michelangelo aids Leonardo _carefully,_ I cannot stress that enough Michelangelo, behind us, understand?"

"Yes Sensei,"

"It's all your fault Leo,"

"How the shell is it my fault?"

"Raphael! Leonardo! Do you want me to set you both on a training run, despite your injuries?"

"…"

"I thought as much, now come Raphael and leave your brother to get to safety without distractions,"

"You know Leo, a cast is gonna look re-al sexy,"

"You're not helping Mike,"

"Sorry…Leo, can you make toast?"

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"Hey Raph, do you need help with that? I still have both hands,"

"And whose fault is it that I only have one hand?"

"Yours, if you hadn't have kicked me, I wouldn't have pushed you,"

"If you hadn't have ticked me off I wouldn't have kicked you,"

"Just shut up and pass me your knife,"

"You ain't gonna feed me, are you?"

"Of course not. Unless you want me to?"

"Don't be any more stupid than you already are,"

"I love you too, there, you should be able to manage that with your left, you are ambidextrous, after all,"

"Hey don't let Mike hear you say that, he cleaned my room up for me when I was taking too long and he wanted me to play on the PS2 with him,"

"Don't take advantage of him Raph!"

"Why not? It's fun!"

"But you're gonna be in that cast for about six weeks!"

"And? So are you, that means less training, more time to do what you want,"

"Actually, there was this book I wanted to read but never had time,"

"Exactly,"

"I'm starting to like the way you think Raphael,"

"Of course you do. Need help getting to the sofa?"

"Please, Don hasn't finished making my crutches yet,"

"Geez you're really light,"

"I know, it means you can still help me despite only having one hand,"

"There you go. Look, Leo, I'm real sorry 'bout kicking you,"

"And I'm sorry about pushing you,"

"C'mere, but don't tell Mike or Don I'm hugging you,"

"I won't if you won't,"

"Deal,"

"Aw look, it's a Kodak moment,"

"MIKEY!"

The End

A.N: There ya go guys, sorry if it's short, like I said, it's just an experiment to see how effective the style is. Anywayz, I hope you enjoyed it and please review, I need the feedback lolness.


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